Heavy Fear and Loathing

"Dear landlord,
Please don't put a price on my soul.
My burden is heavy,
My dreams are beyond control."
from-"Dear Landlord", BoB Dylan


Yes I have begged and borrowed to no avail. My friends and relatives either did not, or could not loan me 500 bills to pay my rent tommorrow...so here I sit cringing in this hovel, with too much love and peace in my heart to curse anyone, even myself, yet I FEAR I LOATHE...the existential angst of not enought..of making that sinister phone call to inform a certain person that certain obligations will not be met on time, FAILURE...what do you expect from a poet...maybe I can go into town and fall in love, or find a good movie on tv or surf my life away for a few hours online,to kill the pain...but I will soldier on...I will not conform, i will not get a "JOB" getting a job is wrong for real people...only fake people get jobs...don't be fake...be real...the world needs real people...

Keep the faith Brothers and Sisters

P.O.

From the edge of Darkness!

Sitting here in my decaying apartment...Throwing Snowballs into Hell...hoping an iceball hits the devil and WHAM!!! I'm in with the Bitch Goddess...then perhaps I could pay the rent...YES, I live in Fear and Loathing, but I don't make my decisions based on it...YES I am going to make some phone calls today to see If I can borrow a portion of the rent from Peter to give to landlord Paul and then wait till Big Brother hands me over my student loan check, in the near future...this semester I will study Proust, at the graduate level, in order to buy my bread...I will also study "Structure of the English Language", some horrific linguistic type Shit that should burst eyeballs and fry synapses...but it will pay the rent, maybe buy a motorcycle or two, and anything else worthy that pops up...SCREW THE FEAR AND LOATHING...I will also meditate today, in order to quell the NO-RENT FEAR, be careful of meditation, it has the same amount of syllables as masterbation, and they both end with tion...yes the suffix -tion, the act of ____ the state of

___, dangerous stuff this act of ___, state of ____. Could be anything right? What state are you in, IS THERE ANYBODY OUT THERE....I will write to Knowone/Everyone, indefinately. Why not, i am listening to myself atleast...writing chirpilly inot the void...It's kind of fun being in the VOID!!! Hoping someone reads this morbid blog...then reads my peotry, then quits their job then actaully finds this little thing called YOUR SOUL....nothing can hurt your soul brothers and sisters, nothing can stop it, it's just that fear keeps the soul locked inside of a shoebox...that shitty job, shitty relationship, shitty house, shitty car, shitty town, are all holding you back not holding you up...we like to make excuses like "I have to go to work", "I have to pay the Bills", "I have to be responsible " these are lame excuses to not do what we really want to...You are afraid that if you did what you really wanted to that everything would turn to shit....LOOK AROUND, hasn't everything turned to shit already? Take some chances, you might be suprised...you'll be afraid for a minute or two, but then you might start actually living YOUR life, not what you think you should do, or what you think someone else thinks you should do....YOU ARE FREE, do whatever you want...that's the responsible thing to do, everything else is cowardice...GOOD LUCK,

PEACE-OUT Brothers and Sisters

Rockin into the 21st century

Overun, overspun, nuked out, puked-out on massive technology brain attacks...Your mind is pure fuckin' fruit-loops half the time isn't it ( I know mine is) remember when we believed that love was all we needed...Have you ever left home forever? Try it...Ever live without fear for a day, a week, a month a year...it's fuckin' scary to make decisions not based in fear...Ever do what you wanted with your life...You should try it....you ARE GOING TO DIE ANYWAY (mutherfucker!)

Peace out